In my last post, I told you guys the story of one of the rape victims in my country. Just like I said before, rape isn’t something new in the society; it has been there right from time. But it is something that hasn’t been given it’s due justice in the society.

Why should we talk about rape? This is an interesting question that holds a lot of meaning to it. We should talk about rape because it’s real and is actually happening. We should talk about rape because there are people out there, whose rape stories fall on deaf ears. People don’t believe them when they voice out their rape experiences. They are hushed down by society and go through the traumatic experience of taunting from people. They are told things like; “You asked for it”, “You deserved it”, “That serves you right”. This is totally wrong!!!!!! I strongly oppose it. No one should be treated like this from the society. This is where I’ll be looking at rape culture.

Rape culture is a sociological concept for a setting in which rape is normalised due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality. It has been described as being detrimental to both men and women. Rape culture is closely related to victim blaming in which rape victims are considered at fault for being raped. Gender activists and feminists conceptualize rape culture as a cultural environment that encourages gender violence as well as perpetuating rape myths, ranging from blaming the victim for inviting sex to treating rape as merely rough sex.

Before I go into details about some common rape myths, I’ll like us to take a brief look at victim blaming. Victim Blaming is a phenomenon, in which victims of a crime or a wrongful act are partially or entirely attributed as being responsible for the harm that befell them. In this case, the crime or wrongful act here is rape. I for one, I’m not in support of this. Nobody has the right to blame another individual for his/her rape experience. No one ever wants to be raped. No one wishes to be. No one writes it on his/her head or body “HEY THERE, RAPE ME”. It can happen to anyone at any time.

Let me use an example to illustrate this phenomenon. Take this instance, whereby a woman or man has just be raped. Feeling shocked or traumatised by what happened, such an individual decides to confide in close friends, family or even the police. Now, the victim expects to be consoled, to be surrounded by family in other to recover. But this is not the case sometimes. When such an issue is brought out, the victims are asked questions like “What were you wearing? “Did you put on provocative clothing? “Were you flirting with the rapist? “Are you sure there was no agreement before the sexual encounter? “How do we know you are no making it up? These questions are asked because it is believed that the rape victim caused his/her own misfortune. Rather than asking that victim how he/she feels, how the assault occurred, you ask the person this questions. People sometimes believe that rape victims must have done something wrong to bring about the rape experience. The male victims of rape also go through comparable blame for their attack like the female victims, there is no exception.

The questions; “How do we know you are making it up? “Are you sure you were really raped? Sometimes are asked because people don’t believe that the rapist can be guilty of rape. This is where we should be careful. Anybody can be a rapist. The sweetest aunt or uncle in your compound, the kindest teacher in your school, your friend, may just be the one that can put you, a close friend or a family member through a traumatic experience as rape. Never let your guard down. Anybody can be a rapist just the way anyone can be a murderer, an AIDS patient and you wouldn’t know.

Victim blame can be as a result of the media’s use of sexual objectification. Sexual objectification is reducing a person’s existence to that of a sex object. It has been found that the more a person is exposed to media contents that sexualize women’s bodies, the more likely they are to participate in victim blaming. Now, I’ll be stopping here for victim blaming as I would like us to look into some common rape myths said in the society.

Rape myths are stereotyped, prejudicial and false beliefs about sexual assaults, rapists and rape victims. It is this false views and beliefs of rape that brings about victim blaming and questioning the victims honesty. Some common rape myths may include:

  • Rape is simply unwanted sex, not a violent crime.
  • Women want to be secretly raped.
  • Men cannot be forced to have sex against their will.
  • Most rapes are committed by strangers. (In reality, most rapes are committed by family, friends or even persons known to the victim).
  • Women ask for rape. For example, by flirting, dressing provocatively and consuming alcohol.
  • Men are less traumatised by rape than women.
  • Only certain kinds of women (bad girls) are raped.

The list goes on and on but I’ll be stopping here for today. We can see that just as the name implies, this are all false beliefs and views made up over the years. And in many ways, these beliefs have really had a negative impact on rape victims. Rape myths cause victims of rape to blame themselves for their rape experience or not to report their assaults at all. This in all, can just be seen as the symptoms of rape culture in our society.

Why should i talk about rape? Why should you talk about rape? Why should we talk about rape? We should talk about it because it’s our responsibility to do so. Don’t just see the stories in the news and forget about it. It doesn’t matter if the victim isn’t a family member or a close friend to you. Talk about it when the case arises and voice out your opinions. By doing so, you are telling every rape victim out there, every girl, boy, woman, and man that has gone through such a traumatic experience that they are not alone in their fight for justice.

You are telling them that their rights matter too in the society!!!!! That they are not damaged as people call them to be!!!!! That they still have a life worth living for!!!!

To every rape victim out there, who has spoken up, I’ll tell you this; I really admire your courage to move on. I admire the fact that you have decided to not be limited by your past and to live life to the fullest. Your stories have and will continue to inspire many out there to speak up.

To every rape victim out there who hasn’t spoken up, I’ll tell you this; try to find the courage to do so. I know it isn’t easy. I know you may be afraid of what people might say or how the society will treat you. But guess what? You can’t change the past but you can help the future. You can help it, by rising up and speaking out now!!!! Forget about what people might say. Stand up and fight for your right!!!!!

But let me make something clear; I do not support false rape accusations. It is totally unacceptable and wrong to falsely accuse someone of rape.

Dear readers, why should we talk about rape? We should talk about it because it isn’t only our duty but also our responsibility to do so.

I’ll be looking out for your contributions in the comment box. Happy New month everyone.


I agree. One reason I feel rape does not get enough attention is because too many men are silent. The victim shaming is an attempt as usual to deflect from the perpetrator’s guilt and shift it onto the victim. Even in church, where are the preachers doing fiery sermons against rape? Instead, I have heard cultic
teachings blaming the woman.

I have heard some preachers spiritually abusing women and denigrating them, but they don’t speak out against rape much. Thank God, law enforcement chases down the perpetrators and puts them in prison where they belong.

However, in the communities and within families, there’s not enough effort to take proactive measures. Many issues begin in the homes. Somehow, boys are getting exposed to pornography and developing contempt toward girls and women at some point in their lives. What are fathers doing to counteract this? Or are they contributing to it?

What are mothers doing about it too, but in particular, fathers? Not enough fathers even train their boys to know how to have healthy relationships with and value women. Fathers often are interested in their sons succeeding in the corporate world and in athletics.

What about training and instructing their boys in a way that counteracts locker room talk and societies evil influence? Often, fathers themselves have contempt against women and mistreat women. Fathers should be training their boys in a way that counteracts the toxic idea of masculinity that says men being violent and promiscuous is “masculine.”

Fathers need to stop encouraging their sons to repress their emotions in order to avoid appearing “weak.” Their sons need healthy outlets to express negative emotions and learn how to deal with them in a healthy, effective way, instead of letting them build up into rage. Then they snap. Often, the women in men’s lives are the target for their rage.

Fathers ought to be teaching their sons that women do not owe them anything, and that a woman has a right to choose not to date him or sleep with him. Male entitlement needs to be stopped before it starts. Often, rape results from men being angry at women rejecting them. Rape for sure is an act of cowardice and violence.

So much anger, so much hatred and using their bodies as assault weapons. The perpetrator falsely believes he is exerting power, but he is a weakling.

Generation after generation, fathers are failing their sons. Their sons go on to produce more broken sons. Girls are conditioned to make idols out of men and to believe that their value is dependent upon a man’s approval, and dependent upon whether or not they are dating or married. This causes many women to settle for men who do not deserve them.

This is why women and other mentors should be very meticulous about equipping girls to make wise and safe choices when it comes to men. Women need to be taught from a young age that their value, their worth , is not dependent on whether or not they have a man in their life.

They need to be taught to conduct themselves with wisdom, caution, do not automatically trust men, and do not present themselves in an enticing manner. No man has a right to touch a woman, regardless of whether she’s dressed in an enticing manner, but my point is, there is evil out there. I don’t victim shame, but women need to live in awareness, conducting themselves wisely as well, because of the monsters out there.

Men have to stop being concerned about avoiding topics that are shameful and reflect badly on the male gender. They should care enough to publicly rebuke and renounce rape regularly, even if it doesn’t seem “cool” to do so when they are hanging out with their buddies. Again, they should be a lot more proactive in their sons lives, and in the lives of other boys that they are connected to.

They should make major effort to model to their sons how to respect and value women. They should not give their boys free reign to do pretty much whatever they want when their boys are growing up.

They should stop using “boys will be boys” as a ticket or a license to let their sons escape accountability. They should care on behalf of God and on behalf of other men’s daughters, to train their sons correctly. Fathers need to not expose their sons to pornography and need to firmly discourage their sons from pornography. I need to make sure they restrict whether sons are able to access on the computer or watch on the TV. If each father was more active in the proper training of their sons, we would live in a different and better world.

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Well said Petrina👏👏👏👏. I totally agree with you. I believe that each and every one of us, has a part to play in discouraging rape and victim shaming in the society today. And I know, that if we all work together, by doing the right thing, we will be able to live in a different and better world ✊🏿✊🏿.

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True and rapists are enraged, violent wimps who believe falsely that they are exerting power by dehumanizing someone else. They must feel so low that they feel elevated after committing such an act.

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I loved every piece of it!
I had recently came across the comment section of a YouTube video.
And the way a person said this topic was disgusting!

THE PERSON SAID THAT “women at every point of life, have a disgusting desire to be “intimated”
And they should think twice about their family and society before wearing a dress..
And that everytime they go outside without their husbands or fathers, they are to be blamed.”

I don’t know why, but the whole world falsely accuses the victim somehow and that’s not just, do you think so?

If people can voice their opinions about gender equality…, Climate change, crooked politicians, why not about this? Which is evidently even more serious than any of the above…

This was a great post.. and every line… It was brilliant! It made me write this and I wanna write more but time is running!
🤩We want more people like you!

Liked by 2 people

I also don’t know why sometimes, the world falsely accuses the victim. In the case of wearing provocative clothing, not all victims do so. If you blame a victim for inviting rape by wearing provocative clothing then, you should also blame a bank for being robbed by having provocative contents. No one wants to be raped, so no one should be blamed for it.
I really appreciated your contributions on this topic♥♥


This is such an important message. It’s great that there’s social awareness now towards this, but it’s not enough. Most rape victims doesn’t speak up because of victim shaming and I’m not blaming these victims because as you’ve said when rape victims come forward, the questions will be like “are you sure?” “How did you let it happen?” “Why didn’t you fight back or you should’ve said something”.

I watch Taylor Swift’s documentary where she opens about the sexual assault case she went through, she had evidence and witnesses when it happened. But her abuser still made her felt like it was her fault in court, she won the case though. There was a part when she said something like what if these things happen when no one is around and it’s your word against theirs? And it’s true, she won the case because she has witnesses and a photo. What if there was none?

Anyways, I’ve said so much. This is a very informative post. And we shouldn’t stop speaking about ending rape culture.

Liked by 3 people

Thank you so much for your comment. The awareness needs to be out there that rape culture really has a negative impact on rape victims. No one should be blamed for being raped. Blaming the victim can just tend to excalate the issue. And what you said about witnesses is so true. People sometimes tend to believe that where there are no witnesses to the story, the victim is just making it up.
#Rape is demoralizing!!!!!


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